With the first day of school fast approaching, many parents are beginning to feel anxious. If you are one of those parents, you are not alone. It is normal to experience Separation Anxiety when your child leaves home, goes off to school, moves into the next stage of development, or even goes off for an overnight with Grandma and Grandpa. The primary caregiver is the one hit hardest by this unusual fear. Apparently this feeling is even stronger in parents who have singletons. Separation Anxiety exists to keep little babies safe, it is hard wired into our brains. The parent feels anxious because they are too far away to keep their child safe from harm. This innate emotion keeps us close to our offspring. How ingenious!!
What can a parent do? First ask yourself, “What am I afraid will happen when my child is away from me”. It helps to write all your thoughts down. Then play devil’s advocate and challenge your fears. This exercise will help you figure out the basis of your fears. Some parents worry about their child’s emotional health, others worry that their child will be physically picked on, and there are also worries about a child’s teacher. Notice the common theme is that you as the parent feel helpless. You feel that you cannot keep your child safe from harm. You are not there to put on the band aid or give a reassuring hug. Another question to ask yourself is, “as a child did I feel unsafe in the same situations that I as a parent am now anxious about with regards to my own child”. If this is the case, your worries could stem from unresolved childhood anxiety.
The next step is to find balance, follow your child’s lead and trust that your child can handle themselves in the big world. Talking with other parents is important; it can be comforting and therapeutic. Many parents feel that they are alone and that they are the only one going through this. Alleviate fear of the unknown by getting to know your child’s caregiver and or teacher. Plan fun activities for yourself, take advantage of your alone time by rejuvenating your body, mind and spirit. Taking advantage of down time will help to eliminate the stress associated with Parental Separation Anxiety.
Do you experience Separation Anxiety? If you do how do you cope with the anxiety?
This is a fantastic article Nichole – thanks so much! I try to do as much as I can to know that she is always in the best care possible, but I still feel those pangs when I see her growing so quickly.