Momisms

Comedian Anita Renfroe took u-tube by storm with Momisms.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ&feature=related

Anita demonstrates in her song that moms are similar all over the world.  We all say the same things to our children and we all share an undying, unconditional love that never ends. 

I’ll never forget what my mom said to me last summer, “The love that you feel for your boys is the same that I feel for you.  I feel it every day.  It never fades, dies or goes away”.   It is love that cannot be explained. It is a love that is only understood once you have children.

With that love many moms tend to forget about themselves.  We all do it.  I don’t know about you, but I love to give to my kids, I love to be with my kids. I truly love being around them.  So when someone tells me that I need to take care of me and take time to myself, I often think, “But I love to be with my kids. It is just so unfortunate that they do not enjoy doing the things that I enjoy like going shopping for pretty things. For my boys it is EB Games or nothing”. 

So I try to find balance, try to do it all, try not to lose myself in the role of mothering. I’m getting tired just thinking about it.  If you are looking for balance I found a great article on balance in motherhood  http://www.parenting.ivillage.com/mom/time/0,,432t,00.html. The nine tips are worth reading and I hope that when my kids leave home I will finally achieve balance.  I think for now I will live in the moment and enjoy every minute with my children, messy house and all.

How do you find balance?  Or do you throw it all out the window and live in the moment

Learning My Way: Learning Disability or Learning Difference?

Learning My Way (Learning Disability or Learning Difference)

“Every child can succeed in their own way”.  Henry Winkler http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1830750/henry_winkler_hank_zipzer/

Henry Winkler has dyslexia. He says “I spent 1/3 of my school life trying to figure-out school, 1/3 of my time trying to figure-out why I couldn’t figure it out and 1/3 trying to hide my learning problems”.  I can relate because that was me.  So much of my energy went into trying to figure-out how to operate within the system, I would study and study for spelling tests and fail.  I would practice and practice my reading and fail.  I would look at my peers and wonder “How do they do it. Maybe I’m just too stupid. Maybe I’m from a different planet”.  By grade seven I had it all figured out and suddenly school was very easy. As an adult I wonder “How many children like me did not figure it out? How many kids with undiagnosed Dyslexia dropped out of school”?

As I watch my boys struggle with the written word, I have noticed something very interesting.  Both of my boys are visual, kinesthetic learners who are highly perceptive.  They each have different strengths or gifts as I’ve been told.  They learn differently from the average child, so are their “gifts” disabilities or mere differences?  A friend said to me the other day “Really smart kids have complex thoughts and it is sometimes hard to get all those complex thoughts out into words”.  When I explained this to my younger son he smiled and replied “That sounds like my brain. I have so much stuff in my thoughts, my words can’t get them all out. I get tired, I feel angry and stop.”  How many really smart kids feel really stupid because they learn differently, or because they can’t get their knowledge out in a way that the teacher can grade it? 

The brain, how we learn, why we do what we do, it is all very interesting.  What are your thoughts, disability or learning difference?  Wouldn’t school be a more interesting place if students were able to learn in their own way?

Luck or Temperament?

Luck or Temperament?

“Luck is not a magical ability or a gift from the gods. Instead, it is a way of thinking and behaving.”

—    Richard Wiseman, PhD

When I read this article it reminded me of Temperament and how we are all born with specific temperament traits.  According to Richard Wiseman, the people who are prone to be “lucky” are the people who are more perceptive and extroverted.  The people who notice the roses instead of walking past them.  The people who stop to talk to everyone and enjoy hearing their stories. I thought of my boys, both are high in the trait of perception.  It would take us all day to get to the park because going to the park was all about the journey and finding interesting stones and bugs along the way.  My youngest is the family member who finds money everywhere we go.  One day we were waiting for Dad outside of Safeway, the little monkey spotted a Tonnie just outside his door, in the parking lot.  His high perception makes him appear to be very lucky, reality the kid is a collector.  His pockets are jammed pack with treasures that he finds on the school yard and at the park.  Among those treasures are pennies, nickels and dimes.  A millionaire in the making.  Luck or highly perceptive?

We can all be lucky, we just need to slow down, smell the roses and take the time to talk with others.  St. Patrick’s Day is on the way, keep your eyes open for leprechaun’s and four-leaf clovers.  Luck of the Irish to you all.

Mommy Guilt

As uncontrollable tears rolled down my check, the harsh reality hit me, “I’m feeling tons of guilt because I can’t make it better, I have to watch him struggle and he inherits this gene from me”. My oldest son struggles with reading and writing, he has Dyslexia.   As I think about my youngest son and all the time we spend on learning how to spell, rhyme, identify b’s from d’s and see words moving in the right direction I face the realization that I will watch two boys struggle with school. I will always wonder, “what if….”

A mom in my store the other day was telling me about her son’s diagnosis of ADHD.  We both came to tears when she said, “I feel so guilty, I can’t make it go away and I’m carrying the gene that gave him ADHD”.  I looked at her and said, “I’m feeling the same way” No matter what I tell myself, I feel guilty……

It ALL Began When You Were Born

Almost 10 years ago I held my first-born for the first time, 8 lbs 12 oz, he was so little, a mop of hair on his head, nestled into my chest.  The love that rushed in was incredible.  I looked down at him and thought, “you’re my responsibility until the day that I die,”  the sudden awareness that I really did not know what I was doing hit me, and it hit me hard.

From the moment our children enter the world till the day that they die, we try to give them the best experiences, we try to be the best for them.  No matter how hard we try, we make mistakes, lots of mistakes. Children do outrageous things (this is how they learn, so unfortunate for us parents), Accidents happen, feelings get hurt, children yell, “you are the worst Mommy ever”, or genetics kicks in and your child has a Learning Disability.  Mommy guilt is never-ending. 

If you are plagued by Mommy Guilt, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are okay just the way you are.  Your kids are okay, they need to make mistakes to find their way in life.  It’s okay to be different, different makes the world go round.  apologize when you get it wrong, hey we all make mistakes and kids need to see that we have flaws.  And finally; talk to friends about it.  When we hear the guilt that other moms are feeling it normalizes the emotion.  Kinda helps to soften it, like a great big hug.

Mommy guilt is here to stay, we can’t make it go away but we can embrace it and find support from other moms.  Share your Mommy Guilt?

WELCOME

Welcome to my blog and webpage.  Those who know me say I am a dreamer, floating up high in my dreams and imagination.  With my boys my imagination soars as we fight dragons, free all the royal folk, rock on with our pretend guitars and make huge messes in the kitchen.  For me life has always been a dance, and now I dance in the world of parenting.  Getting my toes stepped on at times and struggling with all the new moves that I need to learn- if I want to be a Hip Hop Parenting star.  Down the long road of life my mission is to parent from my heart and be authentic in all that I do.  Join me as I walk done this road of discovery and together we can create a parenting community like no other.  All of us a village, in one KidNation.